A few years have passed since my last relationship. I wouldn’t call it an official relationship though because we never really did get to call each other gf/ bf, it was more of a “mutual understanding.” It’s also been a lot of years since my first boyfriend (I had a relationship when I was 15 years old). And yes, All these years since I’ve been single as a pringle, and I’ve had my frustrations as to why I became such. I was thinking maybe something is wrong with me or something is wrong with them, but then I realized, everything has its purpose. Maybe there is a reason why I am single and it looks to me, it will stay that way for a very long, long time. But it wasn’t a walk in the park, it took me YEARS to finally accept my frustrations in my past life and I thank God I was able to surpass it – I finally got over my past.
So what did I do in order to become healed? Here are the things I did in order to do so:
1. Worked on improving myself
Distracting myself productively as I get better in time was one of the best things that I did in my life in order to move on. I went back to school, got my college diploma, worked a few jobs, volunteered, networked and got active in church. Needless to say, I got busy. And boy, it paid off.
2. Got closer to God
I can’t say that during the whole time that I have been staying here in Canada, I’ve been serious about my relationship with Jesus. There was once a time, especially when I was still a newcomer here, that I went further away from Christ. But recent events in my life have given me a reason and meaning to the truth that Jesus, Father God and the Holy Spirit, is real! I’m not a perfect Christian and there are indeed times where I become weary in my faith, but I still press on. That is why I am blessed, it’s all because of Father God.
3. Became grateful of my family
When I was younger, I really thought of my family as this annoying group of people I have to deal with for the rest of my life. This is pertaining to my parents, most especially. I was so mad that I had strict and strong-willed parents. But in the long run, when circumstances happened in my life, they stood by me. Through thick and thin, they were there, my brothers too. Now, they look after me and always advice me to do the right thing, even if it is uncomfortable for me because it is needed for me to progress in life. I’m grateful for my family.
4. Hung out with new friends
Before, when I was a newcomer, I held on to my old friends so dearly. It’s not wrong to look back but when I saw that they were moving on, I felt stuck as to why I just can not move on myself. So now, I hang out with new friends, new faces, most especially my church friends and school mates from college. It’s really hard to go through life without friends. Therefore, always make new ones but keep the old sometimes.
5. Forgave my old self and the ones who hurt me
Just recently, I forgave a lot of people in my life. They don’t need to know, but deep inside in my heart, I have forgiven them. It’s hard to go around living life having a grudge on someone who have hurt you or did you wrong. It’s toxic. In time, I have learned that in order to set myself free from the baggage I have been carrying for a LONG TIME, I need to forgive. I’ve forgiven my ex-MU, my ex-boyfriend, the guy who ghosted me and the guy who rejected me. I also forgive those who bullied me in the past. Yes, I’m now free.
Healing takes time, courage and patience. If I can do it, so can you. The result doesn’t have to be right away, as long as you are doing your best in your own pace, you’ll get there. You’ll get over it.