It’s now the 17th of February and it has been a good three days since Valentine’s Day. This occasion however, it was celebrated a bit low-key since here in Canada, Hearts Day isn’t really that much of a big deal. Although I took it upon myself to be sensitive about it since it has been 11 years since I’ve never had a valentine. Sometimes I think I shouldn’t have had a boyfriend when I was in high school, that way I would never have compared my past relationship status to now. But then, I guess there are reasons why that happened.
So, during Valentine’s Day, it was Finance before Romance for me. I was to take my first insurance exam because I am studying to be a licensed Life Insurance Agent. But because of my depression yet again, comparing my sad single life to social media’s illusion, I was too engrossed in looking at other people’s love life than study and concentrate on my exam. Which left me thinking, why did I pick Valentine’s Day for me to take the exam anyway? My exam didn’t go well. But thankfully, I still have 2 other attempts for me to pass it.
Fast forward to Saturday, we had this event in our church which was entitled Hollywood Red Carpet: Love, Patience, Purity. It was our Youth and Young Adults Valentine’s Day party. I had so much fun that my feet couldn’t take it anymore (I was wearing stilettos). But that was after all the dancing. Before the party started, we had a little worship message from our Pastor Alex and Ate Kai Aruta discussing the theme of this party. What made me realize a lot of things about me is this phrase, “You’re ready to get into a relationship when you already know how to take care of yourself. Because how can you take care of another person if you, yourself don’t know how to do the laundry, or do the dishes/ take a shower regularly, etc.?”
This is where it hit me, maybe I am really not that ready yet to be in a relationship because I am still in the recovery process, even though I have been really wanting to be in a relationship for a long time now. As some of you may know, I am still recovering from my mental health illness, and it took me 6 years to even regain my confidence back. But I am still a work in progress, that I realize it just now. Also, what I took away from the message is that when you get into a relationship, you must first know the Purpose of why you are getting into such. It should not be self-seeking, like because you want to feel good about yourself or the like. When you love someone, it should not be “if” or “because” you love someone, it should be “in spite” of.
Anyway, those are my realizations this Valentine’s Day season. Here are some pics below of the Love, Patience and Purity Ball from our church. Thanks for reading this blog post and see you soon, dear readers! 🙂 ❤